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Surviving 2017

This year was very eventful. It all began with the trip to NYC to watch the ball drop. Streets barricaded from times square all the way up to Central Park. Sidewalks were packed with people from all walks of life. You have the street corner guys selling tickets to ball drop events, handing their flyers for rooftops parties. The temperature was very mild for that time of year, I imagine it to be really cold based on the clothes of what people wore to the event when I watched it on TV. This time it was just perfect!

This is also the year that I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I have been struggling with it for years, didnt really understood what it was until my anxiety got worse. I have been losing sleep,  and even if I do get sleep it just feels that im just laying there with mind awake.  It’s like living in a box which im struggling to get out of. Decided to seek professional help, it is still a struggle but all I can do is take it one day at a time and keep taking the pill that would eventually lead me out of the rabbit hole.

That trip to Las Vegas was quite eventful. It was supposed to be the trips of all trips for I was celebrating my bornday at the end of September.  I took a trip with my lady friend from the UK to spend some time in Sin City, and the plan was to go to all these hotspot food places, bars and maybe go to a strip club. What the heck was I thinking? I am very well almost into half of my life and here I was thinking that I can party like I was a teenager. So needless to say the best part of that trip was the sleeping part because that is all what we did, as soon as we checked in the place we were down for the count. We won a  good sum at the tables and we were smart enough to take our winnings to feed our big appetites. Saw a show about two grown up males that made balloon animals with their genitals and it resides in the Erotic Heritage Museum.Screen Shot 2017-12-31 at 6.36.39 PM.pngBut on our last night, everything that was going so good all of a sudden went bad.  That was the night of the Las Vegas Shooting that killed 59 people and injured 546 people. It was truly a surreal experience.

Lastly, I got wasted during our annual pajama party with friends. I feel like I was set up but then again it is I who started chugging glass after glass after glass of brandy so I cant even blame anybody but myself. I didnt really believe the usual excuse “I didnt remember a thing” until it happened. I dont remember taking my specs off nor my watch, glad those were the only things I took off becuase it couldve been worse. Definitely there were pictures and I do appreciated the gesture of whoever took it did not posted it on facebook. Another good thing is my other set of friends who think like five year olds did not belong to this circle.  One of them already said that if she was there she would’ve drawed a male genital on my forehead. Go figure, you just gotta love them lol

There are a lot more things that had changed my life, my mind and my heart coming into 2018.  Things that would affect on how I would make decisions moving forward. I openly admit that I am naive, I generally think that people are innately good.  The truth will always set you free and I would appreciate a whole lot of truth at times when I am being blinded by my wants .  2017 is winding down and in a few hours it would soon be commited to memory, just like the sands of time that is slowly escaping through the cracks.  I welcome 2018 with open arms, although uncertain there is always that promise of a better year,  a better life with people who matters most.  Happy New Year everybody!

Me and My Trigger Finger

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I have always been fascinated with photography, street photography to be specific. I love how a photograph have that ability to arouse ones emotion.  A picture is worth a thousand words and yes, it is a cliché but it is just so true. One thing about street photography is that part of the landscape are the humans that would be in it.  Me being an introvert struggle with this because if you really want to get that money shot you would need to approach and interact with your subject otherwise it would be creepy if you just invade someones personal space. Another problem is that I live in the west suburbs of Chicago, meaning there’s not much anything going on. I literally live right next to a cornfield. But just like everything in life, it would always be a work in progress and there will always going to be opportunities.

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I want to be that person that would be able to bring that story across, the one that would be able to breathe life to an otherwise ordinary frame.  Pictures captured are not just pictures, they are moments frozen in time. One of my favorite street photographers was Vivian Maier , according to her history is that she took more than 150,000 photographs during her lifetime and many of her negatives were never printed. There is also a documentary about her life titled “Finding Vivian Maier” which seems to be very fascinating. I know I have a very long way to go to be amongst the upper echelons of the street photography world, but the worst that one can do is not to take that shot. So just keep on clicking and maybe you’d be able to get that money shot after all.